So I appreciate what you're saying with this post, and on the whole agree that focusing on positive rewards rather than punishment is a good norm. But I've also been in some housing situations with people who evidently have less communal instinct than those you've lived with. They're not bad people, but they definitely weren't motivated enough by a 'bilbo braggins' type slack channel.

Example: we never managed to get the dishes reliably clean with the Archive until we installed an 'Eye of Sauron' webcam that focused exclusively on the sink. Therefore, when a dirty dish was discovered, we could go back in the logs and discover who did it. I think the total number of times we had to do that was twice - the realistic threat of shaming was enough to keep our sink clean for everymore afterwards. (both times we checked it turned out a guest had left the dishes)

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Sep 5, 2021Liked by Phil

Thanks for this article. I came here by accident (serendipity) via the article on the “ The 9 types of people you find in coliving” and absolutely love it. My “coliving situation” is that as a family, so there might be some differences.

Right now, we employ a chore wheel for the kids/teens to get them going - as we, the parents, obviously have a number of other chores we can’t or right now didn’t want to put on the table to not overwhelm them (but which we “brag” about whenever the kids complain about their chores).

Looking at it from the perspective of “Chore Wheel” vs. “Brag Wheel”, I see we’ve probably missed an opportunity and have done it all wrong.

Naturally, when the kids were younger they loved to contribute. Since there never was any bragging involved in the later stage where we wanted to more systematically involve them in the family chores and the things done that contribute to our family and it’s wellbeing and “well-running”, we probably missed that/an opportunity then to turn this voluntary contribution into something more systematic for the benefit of the whole family.

So, maybe it’s time to shift from chore wheel to brag wheel. I was just wondering whether anybody reading this has some experience with brag wheels in families, particularly with respect to its members and their “time, desire, and ability to contribute”?

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Gillian, Phil, love your work.

We found this post very helpful, and we’d love to know how, if at all, you see it mapping onto couples, and specifically onto couples’ management of money 💷

Could you recommend a thought leader, book, newsletter or podcast you believe does a great job of helping couples adopt an abundance mindset around money after years of having a scarcity mindset?

Many thanks!

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I've been living in different coliving arrangements for the past several years, and I like this a lot. I can think of one situation where nobody did their assigned chores. I pulled out my hair trying to figure out how to make it happen, and I wonder if this kind of system could have really helped.

Right now I'm living in a place where people do their chores with remarkable consistency, and I'd worry about fixing something that's not broken, but might need to implement this in addition to that.

My objection is for things that simply have to get done at particular times, and thus someone needs to commit to do them rather than rely on an ebb and flow of generosity in the moment. The trash needs to be taken to the curb, or it'll overflow before the next trash day. The snow has to be shoveled, or we'll get a ticket from the city. etc etc

I'm curious how this has worked for that kind of task- is there an additional system for making sure they get done?

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